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I have a lady making my a sign that says "This house protected by God and a gun, mess with it and yer gonna meet both" to hang right inside my front door in the entry way and one for above my front door outside that says "We dont dial 911" with a 1911 on each side. They will both be primitive style.
 

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Said to my wife when we thought we heard someone breaking in ('twas a false alarm).

"Honey don't bother with 911, just call the coroner."
 

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Just call 311 "Non-Emergency Line" after the fact.
 

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I like it, however as the news states everyday, I am sure there are a lot of Dumb #$%es that would not heed the warning.
 

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^^The "Judge" and jury!!!
 
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