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Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister at the time of the incident, was sitting in his office wondering
what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his
telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is
Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you
that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team
from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand
men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to
you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex
is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you
back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of
pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand
prisoners.
:D
 

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That definitely WOULD be a lot of hungry mouths to feed. :rolleyes:
 
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Speaking of Irish jokes, Paddy and Seamus are brand new scuba divers. They're sitting on a dive boat waiting to get to the dive site. Paddy looks at Seamus and says, "Paddy, me lad, I've always wondered just why they teach us to roll backwards into the water off the side of the boat." Seamus looks at Paddy and says, "Simple, Laddy Buck, if we rolled forward, we'd still be in the fookin boat."
 
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Speaking of Irish jokes, Paddy and Seamus are brand new scuba divers. They're sitting on a dive boat waiting to get to the dive site. Paddy looks at Seamus and says, "Paddy, me lad, I've always wondered just why they teach us to roll backwards into the water off the side of the boat." Seamus looks at Paddy and says, "Simple, Laddy Buck, if we rolled forward, we'd still be in the -----boat."
I guess that's a practical way to see things.;)

Those Irish fellas might'a whipped the French after all.

2 Very Bad French Jokes:

1) I Hear the new French army jackets have welcome mats on the back.
2) I Hear the new French tanks have 1 forward gear and 6 speeds in reverse.

If you suffer psychological damage don't say I did'nt warn Ya. :)
 
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Last time I heard that Joke, it was Bubba in Muleshoe, Texas declaring war on Barack Obama! In fact it is posted in the funny farm about two years ago! Still a great story line.
 
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