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1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
 

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Great guy and a beautiful human being . At least that's what everyone said that met him. I have truly enjoyed any of his work I have seen.
 

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It's never been lost on me how fortunate I was, to have grown up when he and others of his time were still active. I watched Red's shows religiously as a kid, never missed his movies either.
 

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It's never been lost on me how fortunate I was, to have grown up when he and others of his time were still active. I watched Red's shows religiously as a kid, never missed his movies either.
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It's never been lost on me how fortunate I was, to have grown up when he and others of his time were still active. I watched Red's shows religiously as a kid, never missed his movies either.
Exactly, the greats are pretty much gone. Leno is still working, but the obscene ones seem to get much attention.
 
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I also was lucky enough to meet MR. Skelton a few times as well. He was exactly like you would expect. Graceful, caring and always has a little thought to share..even in person.
 

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I loved Red Skelton's shows and would watch them even if my parents were not watching tv with me. Also took a real liking to Steve Allen, who I thought was hilarious, too.
 

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Henny Youngman was in the same vein, along with Don Rickles. We were fortunate to have such a wealth of great comedy.
 
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