You're not Irish; You don't believe in leprechauns; You're not even sure what the heck is going on, but you've been drinking beer ever since that first sweet taste in high school and you're not about to complain. "Oh, everyone is waking up early and getting to the bar at 8am? Where do I sign up? Wear a green shirt and slim-fit chinos? Okay!"
We know you don't remember the course of events from past St. Patrick's Days, so here's a list of things to pack before you head out Saturday morning:
Glittery shamrock stickers (you get jealous of the people wearing them every year)
Extra shirt (whether it's your puke or not, you need to change)
Flask of Jameson
Bike helmet (after 15 hours of drinking, walking is just as dangerous as riding a bike)
Write your name & address on your arm (I never would have gotten home if I didn't do this)
Bagpipe (don't look for the after-party, be the after-party)
Pretending you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day is as American as George Bush eating apple pie. Get involved.