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3,272 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I know it is a bit early for this but if I don't do it while I'm thinking of

it it won't get done! I'm not saying I put things off but let me put it this

way.... My wife has threatened to buy me a teeshirt that says.... "I

always wanted to be a procrastinator but I never got around to it!".

Anyway, from me and mine to the members of Taurus Armed.....

This is my own version of the "Twas The Night Before Christmas" that I have

taken (great) liberties with to wish all of you and yours a very Happy

Holiday Season....

'Twas the Night before Christmas', a poem...
with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore......

Christmas Eve on the Forum and all through the joint, not a person was
talking, no one making a point.
The range bags were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St
Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of AR's
danced in their heads. Mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had
cleaned all the guns and it was time for a nap.

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter, I jumped from my bunk
to see what was the matter.
Away to the safe I flew like a flash, grabbed my AR, and threw up the

The moon through the lens of my night goggles aglow, Gave the brightness
of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my searching eyes should appear, but a four wheel drive truck,
pulled by eight White Tail deer.

I saw a little old driver, as I threw off my slumber, and I searched the
truck for a plate but couldn't make out the number! More rapid than
spammers the truck and deer came, And he cussed, and he shouted, and
called them by name!

"Now Taurus now Ruger now Glock and Beretta! On KelTec on Smith on
Colt and Rock Island!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now stop fooling around
and haul ash one and all!"

As smoke from black powder when fired will fly, when it meets with the
wind, up in to the sky,
so up to the roof top those white tails did slide,
with the truck full of Toys, and the old man inside.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of
each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the
chimney fell Santa with a grunt and a moan.

He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all dirty with deer crap and soot.
A bundle of presents he had hung on his back, and he
looked like a vendor, at a gun show in fact.

His eyes-they were blood shot! His dimples were scary!
His cheeks were like wattles, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the hair on his head was a flat top you know.

A Christmas Cookie he held tight in his mouth, and the crumbs that he
dropped were all over the house.
He had a broad face and a big old round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right comical elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the
range bags, then turned with a jerk.
He laid his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he

He sprang to his truck, to his deer gave a whistle, and away they all flew
like lead from a pistol.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas Gun Forum, and to all a good-night!"


Premium Member
8,335 Posts
Thanks, Don- Very nice adaptation!
  • Like
Reactions: BangBang

14,604 Posts
I know it sounds sappy, but I look forward to this rendition every year around this time. It's how I truly know the Christmas season is upon us.
  • Like
Reactions: BangBang

3,272 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I have received messages from 5 different people asking if they could use my version of the poem on other websites...

I am surprised that anyone asked, I would suspect they would just take it and use it.

I don't care who uses it, I'm just glad people like it enough to use it. :cool:

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Reactions: GhostHorse

2,872 Posts
Well THANK YOU, and a very Merry Christmas to you too.

That version is a lot better than many I have heard through the years.
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