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It's Hell to be Old


OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!


An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.


'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing..'

The doctor was shocked!

'You asked your neighbour?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
 

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Yep it's hell to get old. And sometimes others don't help???

A little girl and her Gandmother step into the hospital to visit the Grandfather.
The little girl races ahead and zips into the Grandfather’s room.

“Grandpa, Grandpa!! You gotta make a sound like a frog when Grandma comes in, PLEASE! Ya gotta make a frog sound as soon as she comes in!”

Grandpa asks her ; “Why do i have to sound like a frog…?”

The littel gril replies; “Grandma says as soon as yo croak we’re all going to Disneyland”

-nicker-
 
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Jars are the antithesis to the arthritic senior citizen.
 
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