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Not funny by any means.

I posted something here a long time ago, about something that I seemed to be getting into.

All you guys supported me, as long as I did the right thing, and gave up the temptation.

For those who don't know: It was an old girlfriend that I looked up, and found.

OKAY guys, I let you all down. I thought I knew a lot better than all of you, collectively,

WRONG !

I followed through, and met up with her. She is absolutely gorgeous. We met several months ago. We made beautiful love.

Now the problem: We fell in love again.

I've known my wife for about 30 years. Been married for over 26. She is the most wonderful woman that ever walked the face of the earth.

She absolutely adores me. How much? Enough to catch,me FIVE TIMES, with phone calls, pictures, and e-mail.

Have I stopped contacting the other woman? Absolutely not.

I'm on very thin ice, as you would imagine, but I can't stop.

Let me tell you all right now. This is not a lousy affair. I LOVE this other woman. I honestly do.

Of course I love my wife also. I've loved her for over 30 years. But for some reason, it's not the same now. DAMN IT !

I'm NOT a cheater. Well at least it never crossed my mind. This is just different. I can't describe it.

I love two women. That is NOT a good thing.

I apologize to all my friends here, to my wonderful wife, and to myself.

Would I like to stop this foolishness? Absolutely.

Will I actually do it? Absolutely not.

Spilling my guts here helps me somewhat. It's kinda' like a confessional.

Now you guys know why I've been so quiet lately
 

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It's good to get things off your chest so to speak but you won't find peace within until you do what you know is right. I speak from experience and don't wish that situation on anyone. PM me if you ever want to talk. It helps to know you are not the only person who has gone through something like this. If you put the kind of effort back into your marriage you are putting into this new relationship you can get that old spark back and be satisfied with what you already have before you loose it and regret it for the rest of your life. Marriage is work it's not always easy to keep that spark alive but sure worth it in the end.
 

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You are a cheater. Sorry, but you need to know what you're looking at here. The only advice I could give you is, get on your knees and beg forgiveness. Then, break it off with the woman. Completely. Then, see if there is any way you and your wife can get counseling and try to get your marriage back. That is called repentance.

Sin is always seductive and says "this is better than that". It never is. Ever.
 

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I know exactly where you're coming from, I was in the same situation 17 years ago, I'm an old fart now but I wish I had never strayed from my loving wife of 20+ years if I could do it all over again, it destroyed our marriage. On the flip side I have a life long friend who saved his marriage after many affairs so there may still be time for you to salvage yours if you are so inclined.
 

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There's no happy ending to this story.
Jake ... you done wrong. Deliberately.
A 30 year relationship and you're willing to just throw that away.
For what? Most relationships don't last nearly that long.
Do you think this "other woman" will love you for another 30 years? Love you till you're old and feeble. Lovingly change your Depends?
Stay where you are. You know you can count on your wife; she's stood by you for three decades. That kind of loyalty is damn hard to find. Don't throw it away. Don't be any more of a fool than you've already been.
 

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As much as your wife shoots and as well as she shoots, you probably won't have to worry about it much longer...we'll be reading about it soon....in the Florida Spring Hill news.
 

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Well... we all sin even those here that like to think they dont. Bottom line we all fuc up so I wont cast any stones at you.
The best we can do is pick up the pieces and move on. This sort of thing usually doesnt end well though, it is a pretty big mistake.
You made a choice for your own fulfillment knowing the result could hurt an innocent person. Thats something you will in the end have to live with. To me its a matter of integrity and honor. Keep in mind this doesnt just hurt somebody else it also hurts who you are as a person. Dont let this one mistake define who you are. Time to make some better considered choices.
 

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...you won't find peace within until you do what you know is right.
You are a cheater...

...break it off with the woman. Completely...

...Sin is always seductive and says "this is better than that". It never is. Ever.

...there may still be time for you to salvage yours if you are so inclined.

There's no happy ending to this story.

Jake ... you done wrong. Deliberately.

A 30 year relationship and you're willing to just throw that away.

Stay where you are. You know you can count on your wife; she's stood by you for three decades. That kind of loyalty is damn hard to find.

Don't throw it away.

Don't be any more of a fool than you've already been.

You made a choice for your own fulfillment knowing the result could hurt an innocent person.

Thats something you will in the end have to live with.

To me its a matter of integrity and honor. Keep in mind this doesnt just hurt somebody else it also hurts who you are as a person.

Dont let this one mistake define who you are. Time to make some better considered choices.
Rottiejake, there is very little that I could say that these friends haven't already said so succinctly and clearly.

Here's my contribution, though:

"It's never too late to do the right thing".
 

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Well, Rottie(kind of fitting nickname), the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, it's greener where it gets watered.
 

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I dont want to beat up on you because I know you are going through it inside but I have no respect for cheaters. If you want this other woman, get a divorce. If you love your wife, tell this other woman to scoot on down the road and lose your number. Your wife has caught you 5 times with evidence of the other woman and she is still with you. That needs to tell you something. You really need to beg for her forgiveness and do WHATEVER she demands you to do until things are repaired. Please dont shy away from your friends here as we just want to help but do whats right for both of these women and yourself.
 

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YOU got burned? What about your wife? This whole situation seems rather self-centered and selfish of you. If something is missing from your marriage then you need to work on that, not go looking for it elsewhere. If you don't want to be married then get unmarried. You can't have both. In my limited experience with these situations there's an 80% chance you'll end up with neither of them if you don't fix it quick.
 

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It is not my place to pass judgement, that is in the hands of a higher authority who is every loving, forgiving, and accepting of our fault. I am in a place however to offer a prayer for you and your wife that the two of you receive the power to heal the pains of what has happened and receive guidence towards a continued life together. You must work in rebuilding the bond between you and your wife, and this will only come with time, understanding and forgiveness.
 

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WOW! just WOW! A thirty year investment, a thirty year love story....thirty years of ups and downs, that you'd probably never change, if you could. Flipped upside down? Because an old flame tracked you down? (think about that one) Jake you're too old and wise, for your big head, to be following your small head.
You wife loves you for who you are, warts and all. Ms. "Newblood" wants something. Like others have said, stop the gifts and such, see what happens.
Personally, I think your having a selfish, midlife crisis.....................get over yourself.
 

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I actually started to cry a little while reading your post Rottie, not because I can sympathize with you, but because I can sympathize with your wife. My first 10 year marriage to the father of my children cheated on me our entire marriage. At first I had no idea. I was a stay at home mother. Two little ones tied to my hip 24/7. I would do anything for this man and was blind to the obvious signs. It wasn't until later in our marriage that the signs started smacking me in the face that I began to wonder. Even so, I never accused him of cheating because A. I didn't have any sold proof and B. because I didn't want to be one of those wives that did that. It nearly drove me insane! Always wondering what he was doing so late at work. It got so bad for me that I broke down and sobbed to my mother about it. Six months later my Mother was out to eat with my step Father and guess who they ran into? Their son in law with another woman! Now the cat was out of the bag. To make a really long story short, because I was the nice one, I was the one sh*^ on! I wanted away from him so badly that I left everything! And I mean EVERYTHING. When I left nothing came with me. He ruined my entire life. The worst was he took my heart, my love and everything that makes me ME and squashed it. I became extremely untrusting of men and nearly sabotaged my relationship with Jack because of it. I went from a strong woman to someone who was unsure of everything in my life. It took Jack a long time to make me realize he wasn't going to do that to me AND I STILL worry!!

My words to you.....Shame on you, you are being extremely selfish! I hope your wife doesn't suffer the mental anguish and turmoil I went through. It tears a person down to nothing!
 

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There used to be a country song with the lyrics...

"Trying to love two women is tearing me apart, one has my money, the other has my heart".

There's only room for "one woman" in a man's heart.

Your wife didn't cause this, you did.

"Man Up", accept responsibility, and make up your mind which one it is.

If don't, they'll both dump your @$$.

 
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