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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Got another call from "Windows Service Center" this morning. The connection was so bad we could barely communicate. The fellow had a very distinct Indian accent. I had a little fun.

To start off with, he caught me just before I begin my morning "sneezing-coughing-sinus-clearout" routine. So after I said "Hello?" I was making some pretty interesting noises, each one right in the middle or at the end of his opening sentence. After about 8 false starts (due to my sneezing), he finally gets the sentence out, only to receive my phlegmy response. After about 5 minutes of this, he finally tells me the reason for his call: my computer apparently has contacted "Windows Service Center" because I downloaded malicious files, viruses, etc.

"Oh doe, by combuder! How do I vix id?"

(bear in mind the rest of the conversation will be typed normally, but imagine my responses with just a little bit of a stuffy-congested accent)

I asked him how he got my home number, he told me "Windows database has extensive files on everything about you and what you do on your computer".

Okay, lets get on with this. I asked what he wanted me to do, and he replied "Sir, I am with Windows, I am trying to help you with your computer".

"I KNOW, so what is the first thing you want me to do?"

"Sir. I told you, I am calling from Windows, trying to help you".

"Ggrrrr.... okay, I'm ready. What. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Do.?"

"Sir. I. Am. Calling. From. Windows. I. Am. Trying....."

(Repeat this process 2 more times)

So I don't say anything. That must've been the key because then, after about a 30 sec pause, he asked "Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes".

"Okay sir, look at your computer. Can you see it?"

(sigh) "Yes".

"Okay sir, can you turn it on for me please?"

(my computer rarely gets turned off) "Okay, hold on a minute." Then I put the phone down.

I use the break to go to the bathroom for another of my morning "rituals".

After about 5 minutes, I return to the Indian guy asking "Hello?" and if I was "still there?". I finally said "Yes, my computers started now".

"Okay, sir, I need you to look at your keyboard for me. What do you see?"

"My keyboard."

"Yes, sir look at your keyboard and tell me what you see."

"My keyboard."

"Yes, sir, I am asking you to please look at your keyboard and please tell me what you see."

"My KEYBOARD."

(Repeat this exchange 2 more times)

"Maybe you should be telling me what I should see."

"You should see the lower left hand corner of your keyboard."

"Then why didn't you just tell me to look at the lower left......?"

"Sir, I am not familiar with your particular keyboard."

"But... you're from Windows Support Center, and you have extensive files about me and my computer, and you're telling me you don't know what kind of keyboard my computer has?"

"Sir what do you see on the lower left of your keyboard?"

"Buttons"

"Okay sir what kind of buttons?"

"Black ones."

"No sir, I mean what kind of buttons are they?"

(repeat this exchange about 2 more times also)

"No sir, I mean what is ON the buttons?"

"Look, man... you could make this a whole lot easier by just asking me to press the Windows key."

"......."

"Hello, are you still there?"

"Sir, I am calling you from Windows Service Center..."

"AAGH! Did I press zero to hear this message again or what?"

"No sir, I am a real person, not a recording"

"You know, I have contacted Microsoft tech support about this before, and they told me that they do not call people for their computer downloading malware or viruses."

"Sir, I am Microsoft."

"Where are you calling me from?"

"I told you sir, Microsoft."

(repeat this exchange 2 more times)

"I have already called Microsoft to verify this phone call, they are recording this call right now and tracing the location."

"Go to hell sir. Go right to hell. Sir, are you still there? You hear me? Then go to hell. And also f#[email protected] you."

Then he finally hung up on me.

Sometimes I really enjoy my handiwork.:thumb:
 

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I got the same type of call yesterday. He said I had to turn off Microsoft Computer Services. The dude wanted me to turn on my computer so that he could walk me thru what to do. I told him I didn't have time to do that. He asked when he should call back. I told him I didn't want him to call back. He just didn't get it. I hung up.
 

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I have never had this experience and it is a good thing I have not! My blood pressure would go off scale!
 

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So, what do these people want?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
So, what do these people want?
different things. i think they generally try to get you to mess around in the registry to turn off important security features, or to get machine-specific data so they can exploit it. sometimes they try to direct you to a website and want you to download files from it that almost certainly will be bad for you and your computer.

Microsoft will NEVER call anyone due to downloading malicious files or viruses. Its hard enough calling THEM for tech support, theyre NOT going to call us. I have called MS and confirmed this.
 

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Scammers.
 

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I play the game with the companies that try to get your copier information to send you a bill for stuff you did not order. Act like we take pictures with a camera and have no idea what a copy machine is.
 

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I got one of those calls today and I messed with them for a while before I told them that I didn't have a computer. Click!!
 

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I like to start out with "So, umm...whatcha' wearin'?"
 
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Next time tell them "Don't make me put on my black hat and use my kung fu. It's to early and I am out of Red Bull".
 
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