[Doctor_Venkman]

I thought this would be a good place to present this. I like to shoot. I'm a CCDW permit holder. I firmly believe that we have to the right to defend ourselves by any means necessary. I believe that carrying a gun (with proper training) is an integral part of that.

I'm not sure that the wife feels the same way. She is not against guns and does not mind me having a gun or two. But she will not shoot one. I've asked her several times to shoot with me but she refuses. Granted, the PT92 is large for her and may be a bit intimidating. As is the 12 gauge, I'm sure. My dad has a .22 Ruger revolver that I was hoping to get her to try. But she even balks at that. I am hoping that I could get her interested in shooting and let that lead her to eventually getting a CCDW permit.

How do I get her started?

Dear Abby, please help.

 

[stephpd]

I'm stuck in the same situation except she hates guns. Doesn't even want to see the gun. I'm willing to listen to anyone that has converted a loved one. :???:

 

[barta]

take her with you next time to the gun store. maybe they will have a pink gun. lol. sounds funny but my wife didnt want anything to do with guns til she saw a pink one.

 

[threefortyduster]

My girlfriend had ZERO desire to shoot a gun, didn't mind that I had some, but didn't want anything to do with them. So I told her that whether she liked it or not, she was going to know how to check one, know what to do with it, etc, and she WOULD be shooting one. I showed her multiple videos on YouTube of 10 year olds shooting a .22 pistol, and that helped show her that guns weren't these man-eating beasts that are going to hit you in the head every time you fire.

She finally told me she would shoot, as long as it was just her and I, and with having property out in the middle of nowhere, I was able to accommodate that. So we went shooting, she got to fire a .22 Colt single action 6 shot revolver. I went over it twice on how to check it, how to fire it, just squeeze the trigger. Then I fired 12 rounds out of it so that she would have a general idea of what it will look/feel like when the gun shoots. These were the first shots she had witnessed in person. After shooting about 80 rounds, she decided to try my Taurus. She has now decided that she likes shooting, but only with handguns. Her shoulder has an issue that keeps her from enjoying rifles and shotguns, but now when I ask her to shoot, she can't wait to go, whether its the .22 or the .40. All you have to do is ask her about her board, and she will quickly get the cardboard box that I had her use as a target that has 19 .40 caliber holes in it and she will show you her board. Granted, there is no small group, but the minor fact that she has no problem showing that off makes me feel as if I achieved something, in getting her to overcome her stereotypes and false fears of guns to enjoy something.

Pink guns help too...sadly enough.

Here's a video of her first shots:

 

[barta]

its the color pink man. you could have a rusty chainsaw and she wouldnt touch it, but if you cleaned it up and painted it pink, she would want to use it. i think thier brains are wired up to see pink and claim ownership...haha. we need a woman to clarify all this. im not asking mine though. 1,2,3, not it.

 

[Doctor_Venkman]

take her with you next time to the gun store. maybe they will have a pink gun. lol. sounds funny but my wife didnt want anything to do with guns til she saw a pink one.

its the color pink man. you could have a rusty chainsaw and she wouldnt touch it, but if you cleaned it up and painted it pink, she would want to use it. i think thier brains are wired up to see pink and claim ownership...haha. we need a woman to clarify all this. im not asking mine though. 1,2,3, not it.

meh... she's not really into pink. She owns maybe 6 articles of pink clothing. And no, I am not going to tell what they are. ;D

 

[tman]

My wife was not comfortable with guns. Period. Because of my job she understood they would be around.

She found a class in our local community education curriculum called "Firearms safety for women". There were no men allowed at the class. They shot everything from air pistols to .22, rifle and pistol 9mm, and 12 ga. trap.

She walked away with her hunters safety certificate and now has a .22 auto pistol, a 12 ga o/u, a .243 Rem 700 and a Bersa .380 which she will use as her carry piece as soon as we can line up her carry class. She hunts.

Stick with it, see if you can find a class for her to take like hunter's safety. My wife did not learn as well when I taught her as she did when it was someone else, although I consider myself a good teacher. It was just easier for her to learn this from others.

 

[joe sixpack]

well shooting is'nt something you can force on someone.. they kinda have to come to it on their own..

however you can nudge them along by starting them out on a .22

a lot of woman i know do not like anything with noticeable kick so start them out on a .22

try the hand gun and the rifle some people have an affinity for one but not the other.
if they dont like shooting with a .22 they will never like shooting at all.

 

[Qwiks draw]

Here's some links on getting the little women to start. Exposure to them is the main factor. I have a anti- gun wife also... or had. She's know a .22lrf Ruger 22/45 bullseye shooter and doing very well.

She got started at local women's only events, several time a year held, that introduce women to all types of firearms in a relaxed,safe, easy to learn enviroment. These are all accredited instructors.
http://www.tarusarmed.net/forums/index.php?topic=878.0
http://www.taurusarmed.net/forums/index.php?topic=1049.0
http://www.taurusarmed.net/forums/index.php?topic=1648.0

 

[thunderjohn]

Make her a deal. She goes shooting with you. You go to tupperware
parties with her.
I agree with the others. She may never like it. My wife thinks it's ok but
doesn't care to get a carry permit. Same with my daughter. But they both know
how to shoot just in case. And I think if you approach it that way she may try it.
I hate to think of a woman not being able to defend herself, especially in her own home,
if she had to.

 

[BigBadBull]

If you know another couple that shoots you might want to try a double date.

 

[rainman]

My first wife had an aversion to guns that was near psychotic. I would have been better off coming home with a case of herpes than a handgun. So I sold them all just to keep the peace. My current wife, while not a total enthusiast, was at least willing to let me indulge in a pastime I truly missed. It has taken a while, but now she seems to enjoy our range time together. The key word here is TOGETHER. In case some of us have forgotten, wives, girlfriends and significant others seem to thrive on time spent doing things as a couple. So, in my case, we mutual agreed to participate and show interest in each others hobbies there by giving us more of that precious together time. While she doesn’t jump for her range bag every time I want to go shooting, she will come along occasionally and seems to have a good time. I bought her a P22 (no not in pink) and she thinks it’s cute!

 

[muttmutt]

The very best way is to get a girlfreind !! ;D

 

[Qwiks draw]

Guys, guys. You are forgetting something here. She's got a bias against this and is dug into this like stubborn mule. Not a slam. Overcoming one's fears or feelings take time,space, and a positive approach by the spouse or instructors. There's also the ego problem we may have or the scare factor for the anti-gun feelings.
She may feel overwhelmed because we guys 'know all' or it's a 'macho' thing to do. Have to overcome all that. Not all women are like that obviously, but they do think different then we do. Not always, but we are not all the same. Case by case basis

Making her feel relaxed, unthreatened, not overwhelmed, and able to concentrate are the major goals. Baby steps. Even if male ego is not a factor helping one overcome fears or bias is a slow methodical process that has to be delicately handled.

The best instructors make one feel at ease, understand human foibles, no pressure, have lots of patience, and take the time to take the baby steps needed to introduce one to what we take for granted.
Mentors know how to introduce someone to shooting and other subjects. Each person taught is a case by case basis. There's no one way to impart knowledge to anyone. Have to mix and match techniques to impart said info and have the person show confidence in their abilities.

I introduced my wife and daughter to the guns, let them handle them under safe conditions( no ammo around, put the guns away, and introduced them to the ammo and explained in easy to understand terms what ammo was and how it functioned. All this in a simple easy to understand manner. No babying though.

Then they both went to sanctioned, accredited instructor, women only class or classes. Even some one on one training with accredited instructors. I bowed out of the picture and let the "pros" take over. Offered my firearms to use to both,,,, but that was it.

The wife has to be approached as the way that she wants to go. Not forced. Or the feet dragging and digging in will result. That's why I introduced my gals to the easy approach type teachers and butted out.

Result: Wife shoots as stated above. No interest beyond that.

The daughter shoots bullseye also, has a Ruger MK III, and owns two CZs in 9mm. and blows the bullseyes out of the standard targets at 75ft. or so.

Some newbies may feel that they have to compare themsleves to us and our level of supposed 'expertise'. As goofy as that may sound that was a big deal with the fledglings I taught or others did.

So take a hard look at the approach needed to get one interested.

 

[dbsoundguy]

The very best way is to get a girlfriend !!

Oh My...Muttmutt...

Mine liked to shoot when i met her..
Now she does not really care( she has a better hobby now" 2006 Mustang GT")..lol

I taught all my daughters and 1 out of 4 does not really like it..
I guess the big thing is not forcing them or making a big deal about it..
It does help if you can figure out how to make it fun and .22s are the best for that..
Good Luck...Doc
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing is true though, if a wife/girlfriend does not like guns, try to find a way to respect that and let her know it is Ok to feel about it that way.. :-X
just try to keep your guns low keyed around them and it just might suprise you how they can come around to your way of thinking ..Hmmmm i think that is a country song also..lol

 

[Robby]

"Then they both went to sanctioned, accredited instructor, women only class or classes. Even some one on one training with accredited instructors. I bowed out of the picture and let the "pros" take over. "

I only hope that works for my wife! Both my son and I are sure she should have a gun in the car. When she goes to work, because she is one of first there in the morning. But I would feel better if the instruction came from a pro trainer, rather than me. My son, retired LEO, might be able to get her started, but a pro might get her to carry better than we ever could.

 

[kingofwylietx]

Check out the link, it has some info that may be helpful. Also, while there, click the table of contents & do a little browsing.

The article is written tongue-in-cheek.
http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/wifehateguns.aspx

 

[barta]

thanks for the link king.

 

[Jkwas]

I told my wife " You'll shoot or else! " I know that anyone here that's married knows that's a lie. At first my wife was lukewarm to the idea, but appreciated the value of having firearms after two bad hurricanes. I explained to her it's a skill everyone should at least know something about, god forbid they need to use one. I started her out on my 605 revolver, which she really hated and still does until this day. The trigger was too difficult for her. She ended up with a S&W M36. Go figure. When I went for my concealed, to my surprise she insisted on getting hers as well.
She really doesn't go nuts for it, but she'll go to the range now and then just to get some practice in.
My daughter was very difficult to get to the range. She finally gave in and I got her started with the S&W 22A 22lr semiauto. Easy trigger pull, no recoil, put the target 5ft in front so she couldn't miss and get discouraged. She shot it. It was OK. She says when she is 21, she will get a gun for protection.
Bottom line is they have to want to do it. Gentle persuasion is the best route and start off with a 22 for sure. Try to explain to them they need to know how to protect themselves. Some will, some won't.

 

[joe sixpack]

well you could use this line.

Honey would you like to learn how to shoot it now, or try to figure it out when the world goes to hell?