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Crooks aren't that bright

Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera).

Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes Officer..that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

Ann Arbor:The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. :eek:
 

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Oh man...wish i could watch the show"Americas Dumbest Crimnals"...
that show was great and so are those stories..

Bet everyone can relate to this one:
reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am,flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

too funny :p :p :p :p
 

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Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]

This is the best one robing a store for a net profit of -$5 what an idiot. :rolleyes:
 

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Here a guy went down the exhaust vent for a deep fryer for French Fries to get into the business. Guess what was still going full bore because an employee after hours decided to'have a snack' of fries.

Our crook'hero' descended ( couldn't feel the heat coming up or smelled the fries?) into the boiling oil. His biscuits and everything else were burning. Got deep fried in the end.

Has happened here frequently enough to wonder how these morons got this far in life without checking out earlier of the gene pool.
 

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Diggerdoug, have all their books. :D

There is the one about a guy who isn't a crook that lit himself off showing young Boy Scouts how to cook with charcoal. His original fire didn't take off the way it was supposed to, so our hero goes and up ends a can of charcoal lighter fluid over the very top of the smoldering pile of coals. High above the embers.

Fire race up the stream of fluid and exploded the can and set the remainder on fire. Including him. Crispied crittered head to toe. I' d never seen a guy in a body cast with no hair. Recovery was slooooow. Many grafts,operations, and rehab gone by he finally recovered.
Years of this. Was told the itching and pain were unbearable.
Have seen too many weird things to be too surprised or shocked by Darwin Awards. Amazed at stupidity, yes.
 
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