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Discussion Starter #1
Buy the house a round



A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buys everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buys everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living
daylights out of him, and then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, give me the bill". In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you drink." ;D
 

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LOL
That's as bad as the London cab driver of the late 1880's bringing his horse into the pub.
Cabby orders an ale for himself and a bucket of ale for the horse. The horse guzzles down all the brew. After having this done five or six times the bar keep says, " With such a large bill, this deserves a drink on the house." To which the cabby replies," No thanks, I'm driving." ;D

With jokes like this we're happy this is a forum and you all can't lay a roundhouse to the chin on us. Or go to the roundhouse and get the Choo Choo and tie us to the track, then flatten us.
Much less run us out on the rail.

Taurus-9mm is the new "Sit Down Comic". Sitting down makes him a smaller target for thrown things. :D
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Taurus-9mm is the new "Sit Down Comic". Sitting down makes him a smaller target for thrown things.
Just call me Rodney Dangerfield! ;D
 
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And Chef has been declared "Super Punster". Leaps punchlines with a single bound. Faster than a one line talking comic. More powerful than a gerbil on steroids. Lifts plays on words as if they were mere toys. :) ;D :D And ......... luckily for me doesn't know where I live. :D
 

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The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you drink." ;D
Hey...drinking affects some people that way. Just sayin'. :cool:
 

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This thread is so old.
"How old is it?"
Mammoths, saber toothed tigers, and rhino-wursts were throwing themselves into the "Tar Pits" so they didn't have to escape the horrific jokes. Bison were finding cliffs to run off of.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I thought it was destined to be a classic. ;)
 
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