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Because I am a Man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer
together as a form of Holy Communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all you know, these are the same
things. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up
anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.) This exception seems to apply only to males who were once engineers.

Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always the same, either women, cars, hunting or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't bother asking.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't..and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, it looks fine. Your hair is
fine. Your makeup is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...like
looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.
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