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Discussion Starter #1
Do you have a problem? Love life, polyticks, home repairs, real estate values, investments (basically anything not related to Guns) ? Bring it to Uncle Jake, he will advise you! :D

So, go ahead and ask me how to handle your problem, if you dare! All seeing, all knowing. :rolleyes:
 

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My female neighbor and friend vents to me about everything instead of her boyfriend. It's like I get the emotional side and he gets the physical side. I don't mind listening but every so often I get tired of it. Help!



There you go Jake. Have fun with that one. My apologies to the ladies.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Just tell her if he isn't big enough to take care of business, you are! At least one of you will go away happy! The other, even if disappointed...won't bother you anymore, or she will forget about him. Either way, you should be a winner, unless she looks like this

nancy.jpg

Then you would need to see a professional.

I was curious who the first brave soul would be.....are you sorry?
 

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I've got a 12 year old fridge (Whirlpool ED25RFXFW02). The water dispenser nozzle broke off. I bought the replacement part but here's the problem: I need to get inside the freezer door to thread the new nozzle / water supply line assembly down through the door hinge to the connector behind the grid. I can't for the life of me figure out how to get into the door. There's nothing on the inside of the door that I can see to pop of the liner and get inside. No bolts under the gasket, nothing. I can take the trim and dispenser assembly off the front, but the remaining frame is stuck on pretty good. I think maybe if I slide a putty knife all around the frame it will loosen the frame and come off, but it's all plastic and I'm afraid it will break, and I may just find a opening full of insulation.

I say go for it, if it doesn't work we buy a new fridge. I can't see paying hundreds of dollars to have somebody come fix it. The thing could die any day, it's twelve years old. My wife doesn't want to spend the money on a new fridge (you price those lately?) because she's not working this year (school) and we have two weddings (thanks kids for both getting married in the same year) to pay for.

Help Jake!
 

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No she doesn't look like Nancy. As far as being the first one I'm always up for trying something new. Problem is her boyfriend never answers his phone. Maybe I should take the hint. The other issue is she always calls me when she's driving. I absolutely hate talking to her when she's behind the wheel cause then I get to hear about how everybody else on the road doesn't know how to drive. " Why is this guy in a big SUV slowing down to two miles an hour to go over railroad tracks?" "Why does the idiot in front of me have to come to a complete stop to make a right turn?" I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
My neighbor down the street showed me their new guinea pigs. Do you think they would make a good meal? :)
Sauteed in butter in 1/2 inch cubes, fresh garlic, real butter and chili powder, they are delicious!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I've got a 12 year old fridge (Whirlpool ED25RFXFW02). The water dispenser nozzle broke off. I bought the replacement part but here's the problem: I need to get inside the freezer door to thread the new nozzle / water supply line assembly down through the door hinge to the connector behind the grid. I can't for the life of me figure out how to get into the door. There's nothing on the inside of the door that I can see to pop of the liner and get inside. No bolts under the gasket, nothing. I can take the trim and dispenser assembly off the front, but the remaining frame is stuck on pretty good. I think maybe if I slide a putty knife all around the frame it will loosen the frame and come off, but it's all plastic and I'm afraid it will break, and I may just find a opening full of insulation.

I say go for it, if it doesn't work we buy a new fridge. I can't see paying hundreds of dollars to have somebody come fix it. The thing could die any day, it's twelve years old. My wife doesn't want to spend the money on a new fridge (you price those lately?) because she's not working this year (school) and we have two weddings (thanks kids for both getting married in the same year) to pay for.

Help Jake!
Forget about water...as long as it cools, it is fine for beer! Haven't you heard, all the water is contaminated....it needs to be distilled to be safe anyway. Just look at drinking beer as being a safe water!
 

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Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If a book about failures doesn't sell is it a success?

If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest is there a sound?

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when a endangered animal eats endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

How come we never hear about gruntled employees?
 

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forget about water...as long as it cools, it is fine for beer! Haven't you heard, all the water is contaminated....it needs to be distilled to be safe anyway. Just look at drinking beer as being a safe water!
move it to the garage as a beer fridge and buy a new one! You are a genius! We are not worthy!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
No she doesn't look like Nancy. As far as being the first one I'm always up for trying something new. Problem is her boyfriend never answers his phone. Maybe I should take the hint. The other issue is she always calls me when she's driving. I absolutely hate talking to her when she's behind the wheel cause then I get to hear about how everybody else on the road doesn't know how to drive. " Why is this guy in a big SUV slowing down to two miles an hour to go over railroad tracks?" "Why does the idiot in front of me have to come to a complete stop to make a right turn?" I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once you give her a dose of Doctor 91 Whiskey's injection treatment, she will forget about driving, women should never have been given the right to drive!
 
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Discussion Starter #12
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If a book about failures doesn't sell is it a success?

If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?


If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest is there a sound?

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when a endangered animal eats endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

How come we never hear about gruntled employees?
The magic of polymers

No, no fatty dipping allowed if you aren't a a product of Colonel Sanders

No, closet claustrophobics came out of the closet long ago, they all moved to West Texas!

To confuse conservatives! about the Federal Budget

How would I know, I didn't live back in the days when all those sarus's were trampling the grass. I know I would run like hell if a Tyranasaurus were chasing me!

Totally partial, hell yes, I'm totally partial to anyone else running for president besides Obama.

A book about failures still loses money if it doesn't sell....how is your stock portfolio?

Just the members of the funeral procession who want to ride in the hearse should drive with their lights off at night.

Styrofoam of course, hello, you don't want to damage it.

Of course if you have plenty of light

About that stealth Bomber, it depends if it's going or coming

No, he is self employed and files a schedule C

Lambs are treated with Scotch guard at birth

Vegetarians should only eat vegetables and Algae, never anything with legs!

Only the vampires

You have used all your allowable questions for the next 5 years!
 

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You have used all your allowable questions for the next 5 years!
Damn, I had one more question about Cumulative Convertible Preferreds!
 

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Discussion Starter #16
How do I get my upstairs neighbor to clean up his half of the dog sh*t every week?
Not enough information....does the dog sh*t upstairs or downstairs?
 
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Dear Jake:

I need / want a new laptop computer, but my bossy wife says we can't afford to buy one right now.

Should I sell one of my Taurus handguns to raise the funds for the new laptop...or get a new wife that is not so bossy? :confused:

P.S. I've had this one for 47 years. (Not the laptop...the wife.) ;)

Signed...

Undecided
 

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Discussion Starter #20 (Edited)
Dear Jake:

I need / want a new laptop computer, but my bossy wife says we can't afford to buy one right now.

Should I sell one of my Taurus handguns to raise the funds for the new laptop...or get a new wife that is not so bossy? :confused:

P.S. I've had this one for 47 years. (Not the laptop...the wife.) ;)

Signed...

Undecided
A wife you have had for 47 years is most likely high mileage, and if married to you, not all highway miles. It's time to get a new one before something breaks. Marry a rich one this time and you can have new laptops you will enjoy...is a laptop the consummation of a lap dance?
 
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