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(1) If you cut through a muddy field, your boots will get stuck in the mud, and you will spend the rest of the afternoon with wet muddy socks.

(2) You will never get all of the cockle burrs and stick-tights off of your favorite hunting jacket.

(3) The ice on the creek isn’t near as thick as you think, find another place to cross it.

(4) It doesn’t matter how many times you walk around the tree, the squirrel will always keep going around to the other side of it.

(5) It doesn’t matter how you cross a barbed wire fence, if you climb over or crawl through it, you will still rip your pants.

(6) Don’t try to save 50 cents when buying your ammo. You usually get what you paid for.

(7) Before you decide to sit down, make sure you are not in a patch of poison ivy.

(8) If you have to clean the rabbits, make sure not to gut shoot them.

(9) If it looks like a stick, it’s probably a snake, walk around it.

(10) It is a good idea to carry toilet tissue in your pocket. But your socks will work in an emergency.

(11) It is always your favorite fishing lure that gets stuck in the tree.

(12) It takes two full days to get stink bait off of your fingers.

(13) Snapping turtles will usually find your stringer full of fish.

(14) The walk back is always longer than the walk there.

(15) Take off your boots before walking on the carpet.

(16) When you are pulling the spider webs off of your face, the spider is usually on your head.

(17) Those hundreds of little red specks on you are seed ticks.

(18) When a tree falls across the creek, it is not a bridge.

(19) Buy the good mosquito repellant.

(20) It’s not a shortcut if there is a bull in the field.


Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
 
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