My Wife Really Needs to Come Back Home!
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Thread: My Wife Really Needs to Come Back Home!

  1. #1
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    Exclamation My Wife Really Needs to Come Back Home!

    I've had cats (her flipping cats) pissing in my shoes, I'm nearly out of boxers (what do those knobs on the washer mean), I've ordered pizza twice in a row for dinner (where is all the food in the fridge),I've watched what every I've wanted to watch (I'm growing tired of blood and head shots) and I've drank way toooooo much scotch and bourbon and whiskey since she left!
    How did I survive bachelor-hood?

    This is really all about me wondering what's for dinner and going: oh, I'll just order a pizza.
    Sekol, ncfarmer, darbo and 12 others like this.

    "Always carry a knife with you. Just in Case there's cheesecake or you need to stab someone in the throat."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texheim View Post
    I've had cats (her flipping cats) pissing in my shoes, I'm nearly out of boxers (what do those knobs on the washer mean), I've ordered pizza twice in a row for dinner (where is all the food in the fridge),I've watched what every I've wanted to watch (I'm growing tired of blood and head shots) and I've drank way toooooo much scotch and bourbon and whiskey since she left!
    How did I survive bachelor-hood?

    This is really all about me wondering what's for dinner and going: oh, I'll just order a pizza.
    Hey now, as a bachelor I ordered pizza or pasta from pizza hut nearly every day. I also had more booze in the fridge than food. Somehow those things go together.

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    Is she on a buisness trip or did something bad happen?
    Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man gainst his own bosom. Congress have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birthright of an American...[T]he unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but, where I trust in God it will ever remain, in the hands of the people....Tench Coxe

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    Quote Originally Posted by stu.45 View Post
    Is she on a buisness trip or did something bad happen?
    We had planned on going to Austin to see my family and visit some friends this weekend but I had a big function at work to deal with and she went with out me to do all that and some shopping. I'm lucky there's still money in the account to order pizza I guess.


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    kschilk, darbo, Wolf1477 and 1 others like this.

    "Always carry a knife with you. Just in Case there's cheesecake or you need to stab someone in the throat."
    "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
    Friends don't let friends buy Keltecs...
    Molon Labe
    I live in a purple house, you got a problem with that?
    "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes."

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    Life goes easier for both of you if you both know how to do basic things around the house. I have no problem admitting I do laundry, dishes, cook, food shopping. Heck as a kid I had to do them, no different now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texheim View Post
    We had planned on going to Austin to see my family and visit some friends this weekend but I had a big function at work to deal with and she went with out me to do all that and some shopping. I'm lucky there's still money in the account to order pizza I guess.


    Sent from an undisclosed underground location by fingerless monkeys using Tapatalk.
    My wife always has my debit card on her. Something tells me my days as an independent individual are more than long gone.

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    My wife is a nurse and recently she has started working nights so I have found myself in the same sad state of affairs. I've eaten more pizza the past few weeks than I have in the past 5 years. Lol. At first I thought it would be cool to have some alone time but I found myself asking the same "how did I survive bachelor-hood" question last night. I tried going and hanging with some of my single friends but it just isn't what it used to be. I also discovered I have seen every movie I own too many times and tv is boring to heckle alone. I never thought it would happen but due to my wife spoiling me with home made meals, clean clothes , and good company I've become a kept man.
    Sekol, Texheim, ncfarmer and 4 others like this.
    Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man gainst his own bosom. Congress have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birthright of an American...[T]he unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but, where I trust in God it will ever remain, in the hands of the people....Tench Coxe

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    WOW- it's sooo nice to read that ya'll "need" your wives! When they do get home, be sure to tell them you missed them, give 'em a big smoochy kiss, and then ask them :
    a) where your clean underwear is
    b) how to turn on the washing machine
    c) where the mortgage coupon book is
    d) why does the dishwasher foam at the mouth when you put dish soap in it?
    e thru z - all those other things you can't do without her!

    Really, I think it's sweet - try having a salad instead of the pizza next time!!
    Texheim, stu.45, darbo and 5 others like this.
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    Warning: Eating too much pizza in a short period of time can make you hate it for a long period of time. Don't ask me how I know.

    Oh, and I'd just go out and buy some new underwear...if it's a choice between that and doing laundry, that's what I'd do.
    Last edited by Rossi; 06-02-2013 at 07:58 PM.
    Texheim, Sekol, Wolf1477 and 3 others like this.

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rossi View Post
    Warning: Eating too much pizza in a short period of time can make you hate it for a long period of time. Don't ask me how I know.

    Oh, and I'd just go out and buy some new underwear...if it's a choice between that and doing laundry, that's what I'd do.
    learning that the hard way
    Texheim and Rossi like this.
    Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man gainst his own bosom. Congress have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birthright of an American...[T]he unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but, where I trust in God it will ever remain, in the hands of the people....Tench Coxe

 

 
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