It's that time again!!
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Thread: It's that time again!!

  1. #1
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    It's that time again!!

    I know it is a bit early for this but if I don't do it while I'm thinking of

    it it won't get done! I'm not saying I put things off but let me put it this

    way.... My wife has threatened to buy me a teeshirt that says.... "I

    always wanted to be a procrastinator but I never got around to it!".


    Anyway, from me and mine to the members of Taurus Armed.....

    This is my own version of the "Twas The Night Before Christmas" that I have

    taken (great) liberties with to wish all of you and yours a very Happy

    Holiday Season....


    'Twas the Night before Christmas', a poem...
    with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore......


    Christmas Eve on the Forum and all through the joint, not a person was
    talking, no one making a point.
    The range bags were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St
    Nicholas soon would be there.

    The newbies were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of AR's
    danced in their heads. Mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had
    cleaned all the guns and it was time for a nap.

    When out in the yard there arose such a clatter, I jumped from my bunk
    to see what was the matter.
    Away to the safe I flew like a flash, grabbed my AR, and threw up the
    sash.

    The moon through the lens of my night goggles aglow, Gave the brightness
    of mid-day to objects below.
    When, what to my searching eyes should appear, but a four wheel drive truck,
    pulled by eight White Tail deer.

    I saw a little old driver, as I threw off my slumber, and I searched the
    truck for a plate but couldn't make out the number! More rapid than
    spammers the truck and deer came, And he cussed, and he shouted, and
    called them by name!

    "Now Taurus now Ruger now Glock and Beretta! On KelTec on Smith on
    Colt and Rock Island!
    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now stop fooling around
    and haul ash one and all!"

    As smoke from black powder when fired will fly, when it meets with the
    wind, up in to the sky,
    so up to the roof top those white tails did slide,
    with the truck full of Toys, and the old man inside.

    And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of
    each little hoof.
    As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the
    chimney fell Santa with a grunt and a moan.

    He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
    and his clothes were all dirty with deer crap and soot.
    A bundle of presents he had hung on his back, and he
    looked like a vendor, at a gun show in fact.

    His eyes-they were blood shot! His dimples were scary!
    His cheeks were like wattles, his nose like a cherry!
    His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
    and the hair on his head was a flat top you know.

    A Christmas Cookie he held tight in his mouth, and the crumbs that he
    dropped were all over the house.
    He had a broad face and a big old round belly,
    that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

    He was chubby and plump, a right comical elf,
    and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
    soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the
    range bags, then turned with a jerk.
    He laid his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he
    rose!

    He sprang to his truck, to his deer gave a whistle, and away they all flew
    like lead from a pistol.
    But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

    "Merry Christmas Gun Forum, and to all a good-night!"

    Don
    Are we the only country dumb enough to start a second civil war because we are offended by the first one?

  2. #2
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    Thanks, Don- Very nice adaptation!
    BangBang likes this.
    "The large print giveth, the small print taketh away..." Tom Waits
    "If the Dawn Patrol's gotta tell you twice they're gonna do it with a shotgun..." Steely Dan
    "It's the Change Orders that make you money, but it's the Punch Lists that cost ya..." coopercdrkey
    Nemo me impune lacessit ​ No one provokes me with impunity
    Florida Concealed Carry Permit

  3. #3
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    You spent time on that one ! It was good ! Merry Christmas to you and all !!
    BangBang likes this.
    RonLPT24/7

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  5. #4
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    Procrastination flowchart.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    jonrjen likes this.
    To the gun grabbers:
    What kind of malicious intent do You have towards Me that makes You fear the fact that I may have a firearm.

  6. #5
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    Most wanted gun from Santa


  7. #6
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    I know it sounds sappy, but I look forward to this rendition every year around this time. It's how I truly know the Christmas season is upon us.
    BangBang likes this.
    PT1911 - 45ACP, Pietta 1873 SAA - 45LC, PT709SS slim, Heritage RR 6.5" 22LR/Mag dual cylinders
    1939 Tula 91/30 Nugget, Evil Copper and Black Rifle, Savage B-Mag in 17WSM
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    GPS Coordinates to lake where they all reside. Always wear your life vests kids. Boating accidents DO happen.

  8. #7
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    I liked this version of the poem. Merry Christmas to all forum members.
    BangBang likes this.

  9. #8
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    I have received messages from 5 different people asking if they could use my version of the poem on other websites...

    I am surprised that anyone asked, I would suspect they would just take it and use it.

    I don't care who uses it, I'm just glad people like it enough to use it.

    Don
    GhostHorse likes this.
    Are we the only country dumb enough to start a second civil war because we are offended by the first one?

  10. #9
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    Well THANK YOU, and a very Merry Christmas to you too.

    That version is a lot better than many I have heard through the years.
    You must be careful what you pretend to be, because in the end, you are what you pretend to be.
    ....................Kurt Vonnegut, in "Mother Night"

    All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted. . . . . . . . . . . . .. — Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune

 

 

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