I'm calling the SPCA!
Along with a man named Rusty and a woman I was tasked with delivering a package to a shopping mall. I'm not sure what was in the package. The tricky bit is that the mall was infested with zombies. Yes, zombies. I know it sounds unlikely, but it is true.
We parked and managed to get inside the mall with the package without being attacked by the zombies. So far so good. Inside the mall, though, things got dicey rather quickly. The woman was immediately attacked and eaten by a zombie. I had the package, and Rusty was a few feet away when a Zombie grabbed me. I threw the package to Rusty, and yelled, "Run Rusty, run!" Rusty appeared to have gotten away, but the zombie threw me down onto a bench in the mall. Then it got on top of me and started biting me on the neck and face. Strangely, the bites weren't painful. I struggled to free myself to no avail. My right arm was pinned beneath the zombie, so I punched it in the face with my left hand.
Then I heard a panicked meow and woke up. The cat was sitting on my chest licking me, and I had punched her.
I'm calling the SPCA!
All you need for happiness is a good gun, a good horse, and a good wife.
Texas friendly, spoken here.
Misdemeanor animal cruelty?
Taurus M85UL Rossi Sportsman .22
Taurus M66 3" blue Rossi 3"M68
Taurus M66 4" Nickel Rossi Carbine in .357 Mag
Taurus 605 Poly Protector
Taurus PT 145
You smokin' Lucky Strike?
a.k.a. Higgy Baby
That settles it, no more sardine and green chile pizza for you.
Every man should own a fine firearm, a fine knife and a fine watch.
Judging by your dream, that cat was probably stealing your breath.
Battle of Wanat: 10 years ago last 13 July, 1LT Brostram was killed in combat killing the last enemy combatant in the outpost. The LT went to the point of decision and made the difference that turned the tide of the battle. The original investigation found the Bde Cmdr, the Bn Cmdr and the Co Cmdr at fault for dereliction of duty. If you want to see what a sarcastic silver star citation reads like, pull up the company commander's silver star.
Was it Monroeville Mall or Willamete Parkview Mall?
But seriously, make it up to your poor cat by getting it something special for dinner.
"If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?" - Tuco Remírez - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
"When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk. - Same
PT1911 - 45ACP, Pietta 1873 SAA - 45LC, PT709SS slim, Heritage RR 6.5" 22LR/Mag dual cylinders
1939 Tula 91/30 Nugget, Evil Copper and Black Rifle, Savage B-Mag in 17WSM
Mossberg 535 12ga
GPS Coordinates to lake where they all reside. Always wear your life vests kids. Boating accidents DO happen.
You never know - zombies can be caused by any combination of meth, heroin and bath salts. We got plenty in these here parts.
God wishes, the Devil expects.