For the Golfers
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  1. #1
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    For the Golfers

    The police respond to a 911 "possible domestic emergency" call and found a woman with a bloody 3 iron standing over a deceased male.

    "Is that your husband?' asked the cop.

    "Yes" she said.

    "Did you hit him with that golf club?"

    "Yes, yes I did!" she sobbed, dropped the club and hid her face.

    "How many times did you hit him?" asked the cop.

    She sighed, shrugged, and said, "I don't know- Put me down for 5..."
    "The large print giveth, the small print taketh away..." Tom Waits
    "If the Dawn Patrol's gotta tell you twice they're gonna do it with a shotgun..." Steely Dan
    "Actually that is a pistol in my pocket..... But I am glad to see you." coopercdrkey
    Nemo me impune lacessit ​ No one provokes me with impunity
    Florida Concealed Carry Permit

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    Quote Originally Posted by coopercdrkey View Post
    The police respond to a 911 "possible domestic emergency" call and found a woman with a bloody 3 iron standing over a deceased male.

    "Is that your husband?' asked the cop.

    "Yes" she said.

    "Did you hit him with that golf club?"

    "Yes, yes I did!" she sobbed, dropped the club and hid her face.

    "How many times did you hit him?" asked the cop.

    She sighed, shrugged, and said, "I don't know- Put me down for 5..."
    Lemme guess...the woman was Lauren Bacall, right? That would make it a....

    BOGEY!!!

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    ...makes ya' wonder what's par?
    Ammo will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no ammo.

    Criminal's lives DON'T matter!



    I miss my 286.

    #Neverwarren

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  5. #4
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    Well, if five was a bogey, that'd make it a par four. I'm guessing you sailors didn't play too many rounds of golf on those ships, huh?

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrucksNCoffee View Post
    Well, if five was a bogey, that'd make it a par four. I'm guessing you sailors didn't play too many rounds of golf on those ships, huh?
    No......but the language you hear is pretty much the same.
    Ammo will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no ammo.

    Criminal's lives DON'T matter!



    I miss my 286.

    #Neverwarren

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    Quote Originally Posted by kschilk View Post
    ...makes ya' wonder what's par?
    Why that would be Jack!

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaBravoKS View Post
    Why that would be Jack!
    ...or his brother Mo.
    Ammo will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no ammo.

    Criminal's lives DON'T matter!



    I miss my 286.

    #Neverwarren

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by kschilk View Post
    ...or his brother Mo.
    Boy you dodged that one!

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaBravoKS View Post
    Boy you dodged that one!
    ...like a Dart.
    Ammo will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no ammo.

    Criminal's lives DON'T matter!



    I miss my 286.

    #Neverwarren

  11. #10
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    Well, we had so much fun with that one, here's one more...

    A man and wife are on the 9th green when she grabs her chest, falls to the grass and says, "I think I'm having a heart attack!"

    Her husband pulls out his cell phone, calls 911, speaks for a few minutes and begins to line up his putt.

    "I may be dying and you're getting ready to putt?" she rasps.

    "Don't worry Dear, they've found a very respected heart specialist just teeing off on 2."

    "How long will it take him to get here?" she moans.

    "No time at all, Sweetheart. Everyone has already agreed to let him play through../."
    "The large print giveth, the small print taketh away..." Tom Waits
    "If the Dawn Patrol's gotta tell you twice they're gonna do it with a shotgun..." Steely Dan
    "Actually that is a pistol in my pocket..... But I am glad to see you." coopercdrkey
    Nemo me impune lacessit ​ No one provokes me with impunity
    Florida Concealed Carry Permit

 

 
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