Maintenance Complaints
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Thread: Maintenance Complaints

  1. #1
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    Maintenance Complaints

    Maintenance Complaints


    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    (P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.)

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on backorder.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for!

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    :P :P :P :P
    "You gotta be one of the good guys, son, 'cause there's way too many of the bad." - John Custer to his son Jesse.

  2. #2
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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    Best laugh I've had in weeks.

    Worked in Industrial Maintenance for over 20 years and never had the guts to put in writing anything so funny. Saw many stupid write-ups but just couldn't imagine putting down on paper such simple answers.

  3. #3
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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    ...
    Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians


    Devin

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  5. #4
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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    Very Funny!!! Thanks for posting it!
    "Easy is the path to wisdom for those not blinded by ego." - Yoda

    For all of those killed by a 9mm: "Get up! You are not dead! You were shot with a useless cartridge!"

  6. #5
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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    I worked at airports, with many airlines for 34 years! Crazy maint. write ups are more common than you might think. Pilots are jokers in many cases, and I have seen jokes pulled by both ends, Pilots and Maint personel.

    I loved this one the first times I saw it, and loved the reminder.



    ROBBY
    Board Of Directors KC3 http://www.kc3.com/index.html
    NRA Member, GOA Member, NAGR member


  7. #6

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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    Ok guys, this may seem a bit gross but hey....stuff happens. Back in the early 70's my Marine Corps Helo squadron was on a cruise in the Med. One day we flew a CH-46 into the airport at Nice, France to pick up mail for the ship. (I flew as Avionics Test that day, the Crew Chief was a good friend)
    While waiting by the aircraft for what seemed like forever I needed to take a leak. Standing close to the starboard sponson I quickly did my thing, leaving a puddle below the sponson. (the sponsons on each side of the a/c was the location of the main landing gear and the fuel cells.
    A short time later a tractor pulled up with a trailer of mail, followed by the pilot (a real jerk) and the co-pilot (a pretty decent officer). The crew chief and I each assisted the pilots with preflighting the bird before we launched for the ship. (I was with the copilot)
    As the pilot and crew chief reached the starboard sponson the pilot noticed the puddle. Knowing what it was the crew chief commented that it may be fuel...possibly a leak! At that point the pilot put his fingers into the fluid and tasted it to determine if it was fuel.
    The whole flight back to the ship I thought the crew chief was going to bust a gut to keep from laughing!
    valk1999 likes this.

  8. #7
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    Re: Maintenance Complaints

    I can see where this thread is gonna head now!!



    ROBBY
    Board Of Directors KC3 http://www.kc3.com/index.html
    NRA Member, GOA Member, NAGR member


 

 

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