I did a lot of research at one time on 9mm ammo for self defense. There's a lot of information and videos out there. When I had reached saturation point I settled on 115gr Critical Defense and 124gr Federal HST. Both work well in my guns and at the ranges that they'll be used at, are accurate.
To be honest, I don't think that there's much difference between any of the premium brands and it comes down to personal preference. I shoot my carry round a lot so cost also comes in to the equation. I probably have more of the Critical Defense than anything else although I am thinking of giving the Sig Saur ammo a try. $$$$