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Thread: Ed and Nancy
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07-03-2012, 04:48 AM #1Senior Member
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Ed and Nancy
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker.."
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.""When the sun's comin' up,
I got cakes on the griddle.
Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle,
Thank God I'm a Country Boy!"
Too many Firearms to count.
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07-03-2012, 01:12 PM #2Senior Member
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"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20
"Those who forsake the law praise the wicked, but those who keep the law resist them." Proverbs 28:4
"Even minutiae should have a place in our collection, for things of a seemingly trifling nature when enjoyed with others of a more serious cast may lead to valuable conclusions." George Washington, 1776
Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam!
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07-03-2012, 01:19 PM #3Senior Member
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ROFL!!! That's cute.
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."
----- Ronald Reagan
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07-09-2012, 04:55 PM #4Senior Member
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Now that's a good one...
Real heros don't wear capes. They wear Dog Tags!!!
“Try to fathom the hypocrisy of a Government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured...but not prove they are a citizen."
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07-15-2012, 06:11 PM #5Senior Member
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Better to marry a hooker than to marry a slicer.
Think about it...Elected Perpetual Dictator of the Universe by a landslide.
"Obsessive organization is the sign of a mind not prepared to thrive upon chaos." -- Admiral Henke
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07-16-2012, 11:27 AM #6Senior Member
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Should I rethink my proposal to Lorena Bobbit?
Originally Posted by MadKaw
Semper Fi !
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07-16-2012, 12:41 PM #7Senior Member
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Not my place to advise... if it's true love, I would not stand in the way. Originally Posted by lazyluke
Actually, I'm not going to stand in the way in either case...Elected Perpetual Dictator of the Universe by a landslide.
"Obsessive organization is the sign of a mind not prepared to thrive upon chaos." -- Admiral Henke
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07-16-2012, 01:53 PM #8Senior Member
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I don't even like Golf.
To me it's about as much fun as watching paint dry.
But that was funny.
NULLI SECUNDUS
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07-16-2012, 02:25 PM #9Senior Member
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To hijack a thread is one thing.... but to hijack it and take it there.... Originally Posted by MadKaw
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07-16-2012, 04:17 PM #10Senior Member
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OK, you can stand in the way... Originally Posted by Choctaw96
To hijack a thread is one thing.... but to hijack it and take it there....
uch:
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