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Thread: Adopt A Terrorist !

  1. #1
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    Adopt A Terrorist !

    A female Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the
    government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents
    (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System
    facilities.

    She received the following reply:


    National Defence Headquarters
    M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
    101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2
    Canada

    Dear Concerned Citizen,

    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of
    treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian
    Forces - who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan
    Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in
    Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions
    were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa .

    You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like
    yourself; we are creating a new Department here at the Department of
    National Defence, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for
    Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. For short.

    In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided
    to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care.


    Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for
    transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto
    next Monday.

    Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be
    cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your
    letter of complaint.

    It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
    We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
    care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend
    in your letter.

    Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
    sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem " will
    help him overcome these character flaws.


    Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural
    differences.

    We understand that you plan to offer counselling, home schooling and a
    daily copy of The Toronto Star.

    Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat
    and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
    nail clippers.

    We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your
    next yoga group.

    He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from
    common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked
    up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
    sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property.

    This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known
    to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the
    new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.

    I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka
    over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his
    culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like
    you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our
    fellow man.

    You take good care of Ahmed - and remember we'll be watching.

    Good luck and God bless you.




    Cordially,


    Gordon O'Connor

    Minister of National Defense



    Wolf1477, btleslie, NYPD and 4 others like this.
    Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting.

    Franklin D. Roosevelt

  2. #2
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    I like it!
    ​Venimus, vidimus, nos explodit.



    There is nothing in life so bad or so awful that it cannot be made infinitely worse by a lawyer.

  3. #3
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    Very cute, but another internet urban legend:

    snopes.com: Taliban Detainees and LARK Program
    _________________________________






  4. #4
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    Who cares it needs to be done. After the first three or four I think it will come to an end. Bloody but effective. When a liberal starts their crap knock them on their ass when they finally fight back they will be a republican.
    btleslie and MilProGuy like this.
    When I moved to the south I just didn't bring my things . By the grace of GOD he brought my soul!!"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson
    "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."
    -- Thomas Jefferson

    PT 1911,pt 24/7 45 C DS, M-85

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasDeputy View Post
    Very cute, but another internet urban legend:

    snopes.com: Taliban Detainees and LARK Program
    I was under no illusion that this is a satirical piece and that is why I put it in the Funny Farm. Sorry if you took it as fact.
    Keith4001r likes this.
    Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting.

    Franklin D. Roosevelt

  6. #6
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    Nice!!
    guns dont kill people. people kill people. so stop blaiming the guns.

  7. #7
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    I want one! I want one! I want Abdul Khalil bin Snorin el Shitheel Snoop Hussein bin Mohammed. We'll just call hom Moe for short. Teach him how to be a Range Gopher. Hey, Moe, go change out the target for the love of Allah.

    Lord, I apologize. Be with the starvin' ragheads of Kabul, Amen.
    Last edited by Keith4001r; 02-28-2012 at 06:50 PM. Reason: kan't spel
    btleslie likes this.
    I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

    My old sig lines were trivial, this one is true.
    I MISS RONALD REAGAN!

  8. #8
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    Nice one. But I wish we could really do this with the libtards.
    THE SECOND AMENDMENT WAS DEBATED IN 1791. 'NUFF SAID!

    MOLON LABE

    God, Guts, and Guns made this country the great place it is today.
    No matter what some people say.
    And it seems all 3 of these things are what the libtards want to get rid of.
    But not if I got anything to do with it!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
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    Haha, bet if a libtard had actually received that letter from a real official, they would have soiled themselves, Then ran (poo loaded) all the way to the nearest airport and left the country..(Ok maybe that result is stretching reality a bit, but we can only hope thats what would happen..)
    Last edited by kaiged1; 02-28-2012 at 08:27 PM.
    "Risk-taking is the critical element for improving our standard of living." Steve Forbes

    "A single conversation across a table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books." Chinese Proverb


    "The wheel may be spinning but the hamster is dead.." Saying about the government






  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 45 Forever View Post

    Who cares it needs to be done. After the first three or four I think it will come to an end. Bloody but effective. When a liberal starts their crap knock them on their ass when they finally fight back they will be a republican.
    Right on, Rick...tell 'em about it, sir!





    In Memory of Erv Bobo, Supporting Moderator

    (Lance0812)
    September 23, 2014

 

 

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