One the ladies will enjoy

[muttmutt]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
_____________________________________

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_____________________________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed
the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_________________________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to
you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
____________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart.
_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?
She said -Turn sideways and look in the mirror
______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
__________________

A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength & receive it...
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

______________________________

Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.

_________________________________

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
______________________________

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
around him.
or, Three -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about
the screwing part.
________________________________

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
_________________________________

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling
your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
_________________________________

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A:
To
stop the snoring before it starts.
__________________________________

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
woman to
satisfy his one need.
__________________________________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual"
_________________________________

[MPanova]

[Taurus_9mm]

I have some people I'll have to email those on to.

[dbsoundguy]

"Flippin Sweet"...lol
Thats a e-mail for sure...

[jwc007]

Very Funny!!!

Sent this one to some of my Gal Pals.

[Chef]

You been talking to my wife?